


your love feels like an army of angels

by viccristak



Series: children born tomorrow may never know the language we speak [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 11:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10966203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viccristak/pseuds/viccristak
Summary: That is what Josephine was like: music. Calming, soothing music that made the weight on her shoulders less heavy and the blood on her hands less dirty.





	your love feels like an army of angels

_This world’s a war zone_  
_And I’ve got a shield_  
_And I won’t surrender_  
_'Cause your love feels_  
_Like an army of angels_

The Script, Army Of Angels

\---

 

Shae didn't know how it had happened, but she had a huge, unavoidable crush on Josephine Montilyet.

She didn't like it. She got nervous whenever the antivan approached her and during her travels, she always managed to find something that reminded her of Josephine. Once, she had said as much out loud when looking at a particularly beautiful flower; Dorian had teased her endlessly (still does). She _hated_ it. Shaethra Lavellan did not get crushes. They were distracting, and frustrating, and annoying at times. But Josephine's kind efforts to respect and understand her culture had Shae melting in only weeks. And when the antivan woman had asked her if someone was troubling her for being an elf, and that she would take care of the matter were that the case, Shae had known she was screwed.

"Boss, you alright?" Iron Bull's voice took her back to the present. "You took a pretty bad hit there with that bandit."

Shae rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Bull," she said. "I can handle it."

They were riding back to Skyhold after two weeks of helping people, recruiting agents, and making allies for the Inquisition. They still had to figure out a way to stop Corypheus from assassinating the empress, and Shae would rather not think about it. She hated politics. And she especially hated Orlesian politics. She wasn't particularly fond of Celene's ways, either, so having to come up with a plan to save her wasn't exactly in her top priorities. It had to be, though, because that was the next step in their fight against Corypheus.

"What are you brooding about now, Shae?" asked Dorian, leading his horse to stand next to hers. "We're home!" He added, pointing to Skyhold; they could now see the front gate from where they were.

Shae frowned. "I don't brood," she said. "Whatever that means, anyway."

"You do. You were doing that just now," protested Dorian, rasing his eyebrows accusingly. Shae rolled her eyes.

"That's just her face, Sparkler," said Varric from behind them.

The elf turned her head to glare at Varric. "Shut up."

Varric held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, Scars, I was just joking."

Shae rolled her eyes once again. She had told Varric a million times not to call her by any of those dumb nicknames he liked to use on everyone. At first, the dwarf had complied, only calling her Shaethra; his first impression of the Inquisitor had been that she was someone whose bad side he didn't want to be on. However, as time progressed and they grew closer, she had let him call her Shae. After that, on a rare day where Shae had let herself loose, the both of them had been drinking with Iron Bull and Sera in the tavern when the dalish elf had shared with them how she had gotten most of the scars on her face. Shae was tiny and she was a total lightweight because of it and it was hilarious. Drunkenly, she had confessed that she had fallen face first onto a rock when she was ten years old and that was how the scars on the left side of her face had ended up there. Varric had told her that his nickname for her would be Scars from then on, and she had shrugged, seemingly unbothered. He would never let her live it down.

"Well, I'm heading straight to the tavern to have some drinks with the Chargers," said Bull. "I deserve it!"

"I will take a shower and sleep. I need a real bed, not those awful tents you had us sleep in these past weeks," complained Dorian half-heartedly.

"I apologize, your Majesty," said Shae sarcastically. The mage just laughed in response.

"I'm gonna join you, Tiny," said Varric. "Why don't you come too?" he asked Shae as an afterthought. "We had so much fun last time," he added teasingly.

The corners of Shae's mouth twitched upwards. As much as she liked to complain, she cherished the little moments she could spare with her new friends the most. It reminded her of the familiarity she shared with her clan. It was almost like having a piece of home with her.

"Perhaps later," she answered.

"Is there something you gotta do right now, boss?" Iron Bull asked.

"No, just tired," Shae half lied. She _was_ tired, they had been travelling for weeks after all; but in truth she just wanted to visit Josephine first. She had missed her dearly and she enojoyed their conversations as much as she enjoyed her friends' company.

"I'm sure you are," said Dorian knowingly.

Shae glared at him, giving him a look that the mage had come to understand as _shut up or I'll burn you alive_. Everyone who was paying enough attention would have noticed Shae's feelings for Josephine, but Dorian was the only person she had actually told. After dealing with his father, the both of them had stayed talking for hours and Shae had confessed her own attraction to women hadn't been well received by some members of her clan. Telling Dorian about Josephine had come natural to her. She didn't regret it. Dorian was a good friend and an even better person, and his sarcasm matched hers perfectly. She relied on him a bit more than she did on the others and that's why he was the one she always brought on missions, no matter what.

Unexpectedly, Josephine was waiting for them at the gate when they finally arrived. Shae got off her horse and looked at the ambassador questioningly. Josephine simply smiled at her, but the elf could tell that something was bothering her.

"Ruffles!" said Varric enthusiastically. "You missed me so much you had to wait for my arrival right at the gate?"

"Don't be ridiculous," said Dorian. "She's obviously come to see me."

The two were now next to Josephine, whose smile had turned bigger at their antics.

"Both of you are ridiculous, actually," said Shae, exasparated.

"What? Me?" exclaimed Dorian, feigning offense. "You wound me."

"As was my intention," replied Shae without missing a beat.

The tevinter mage laughed. "Ah, I do love you for your quick responses, dear friend."

"I guess I sorta, kinda, like you too," said Shae, smirking.

"This reunion is charming," intervened Bull, "but I just wanna get a drink. See you later, boss. Josephine."

Varric said his goodbyes as well, but not without reminding Josephine that they had a Wicked Grace game to play and that he would "not let her win next time". The ambassador simply smirked at him.

"As lovely as it always is to talk to you, I really need my bed," said Dorian. "Besides, spending two weeks with this one is exhausting," he added, pointing to Shae. Josephine smiled at their banter. It was always fun to see them together. "And Maker, do I need a break," the mage finished dramatically.

"Mythal, just leave already," said Shae, rolling her eyes. She had a smile on her face, though.

"Your wish is my command," he said, returning the smile. He added an exaggerated bow for good measure before leaving them alone.

"I'm stuck with the biggest idiots of Thedas," Shae told Josephine, watching Dorian walk away. But there was a softness to her voice that let the antivan woman know she didn't truly mean it. They had talked about it before, about how grateful Shae was for having found an inner circle she could actually trust in the Inquisition.

"I'm pleased to see you have returned safely, your worship," said Josephine with a smile.

Shae's hearbeat picked up its rate, as it always did when the ambassador directed one of her lovely, glowing smiles at her. She felt her face grow hot for no logical reason.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Shae?" the Inquisitor said teasingly, raising her eyebrows. She was proud of herself for how cool and collected she (almost) always managed to appear in front of Josephine, even though she was a complete mess of mixed feelings inside.

"Right! Sorry, your - Shae."

They started walking back to Josephine's office, Shae nodding at familiar faces and smiling at friendly ones.

"Is there a reason you came to see us at the gate?" Shae asked. "Are you alright?"

Josephine sighed. "I - yes, I'm fine. But there is a matter that I need help with."

The Inquisitor frowned, concerned. "What is it?"

"Let's discuss it in the privacy of my office."

\---

Shae hadn't stopped glaring at Comte Boisvert since she and Josephine had joined him in his ridiculously huge mansion. Everything about the way he talked and moved was screaming at Shae to point her fingers at him to watch him burn and squirm. He was so _shady_. Like everyone in Val Royeaux, she supposed. He was also wearing one of those stupid masks, which didn't help Shae's impression of him.

The elf had just let Josephine take the lead and speak to the noble, because Shae wasn't precisely known for being civil to people she didn't like. However, as soon as she heard about the assassins' league, she stepped up.

"That means you could be in danger too, Josephine!" she exclaimed.

Josephine looked at her, worried frown on her face. "I'm afraid so, yes."

"I'll kill them before they even try," Shae snapped. Her ambassador looked surprised at her fierce protectiveness.

"That won't be necessary," Josephine said. She then went on to explain her plan on how to ascend the Du Paraquettes to a noble family again - Shae did not understand most of what she was saying, but she trusted Josephine.

When the man interrupted her and said that the House of Repose would be obliged to hunt her down anyway and Josephine called him out for being an assassin, Shae simply stared at the woman in awe. The way she carried herself in conversation was one of the things that had drawn the elf to her at first, because it was something Shae herself could not do. She was confident in her magic, in her abilities on the field - but politics? Being polite to someone she despised? It was simply impossible for her not to be aggressively honest. The way Josephine cleverly exploited people's weaknesses fascinated her, and it was the reason she had been able to catch the assassin standing in front of them in a lie.

"The House of Repose has some nerve sending an assassin to speak to us," Shae said, with the same unfriendly tone she had used before.

Shae heard the man spit out some kind of excuse, and Josephine said something to him in response, but she had stopped listening. When he stood up, she didn't hesitate to stand up as well, putting herself in front of him. He was taller than her, but Shae's hand was on her staff and the way she was baring her teeth at him intimidated the assassin; the Inquisitor could see doubt in his eyes and fear in his pose.

"Am I supposed to just let you go?" said Shae.

"I did not come to shed blood today," the noble answered. "Might I pass?" he asked, and the tone of superiority his voice held aggravated Shae even more.

Shae wanted to rip that stupid mask off his face and break it to pieces, but Josephine was right there. And the elf wasn't stupid either; she knew the assassin couldn't have come alone and there were probably a few of his colleagues lurking around in the shadows, so she resisted the urge to attack him and let him go.

"Fen'Harel ma halam," muttered Shae under her breath.

"I didn't expect our meeting to end like this," Josephine said, once he had left.

"We'll deal with these assassins," Shae assured her, confidently. "I won't let them harm you," she added, softly.

Josephine looked down bashfully and Shae noticed with some pleasure that her cheeks had turned a subtle shade of pink. The antivan woman cleared her throat.

"I - yes," the amabassador finally answered. "I have a few ideas we can discuss back in Skyhold."

Shae nodded. "You'll be safer there. And I'll assign more guards to you."

"Thank you, Shae," said Josephine gratefully. "I know you have a lot on your shoulders and there's so much going on, and helping me with my family business isn't exactly a priority-"

"Josephine, please," interrupted Shae before the woman could go on. "A friend in need is always a priority. What would I be doing... this" - she pointed to her marked hand - "for if it wasn't?"

The ambassador looked at her, still smiling, and put a hand on Shae's arm. "Still, thank you," she said sincerely.

Shae tensed up for a brief moment. The arm that Josephine was touching felt like it was burning. No - that wasn't right. Shae thought of fire and flames in the battlefield, when swords and spells were flying and her friends were in danger and her whole body felt like a fatal weapon. No, it was a different kind of freedom that Josephine's touch provided her - it was similar to what she felt when she played the lute. She immersed herself in the melody, forgetting about the real world for at least a while. _That_ is what Josephine was like: music. Calming, soothing music that made the weight on her shoulders less heavy and the blood on her hands less dirty.

"You're welcome," Shae finally told the ambassador, not being able to express how she truly felt. Not just yet.

\---

"She probably hates me now," grumbled Shae, sitting down in Dorian's little corner at the library.

"What is this about now?" asked the mage, not looking up from the book he had just picked up.

"Josephine! I decided to go with Leliana's plan, because I couldn't risk it. And I thought it was the right thing to do, but Josephine said she-"

"Slow down. Take a breath, friend," interrupted Dorian, finally looking at her. Shae obeyed, breathing deeply through her nose. She nervously ran a hand through her hair. "Didn't you talk to her in Val Royeaux?"

"Yes, and she thanked me again, but she's always so polite! She's not gonna-"

"Has she treated you any differently since then?"

Shae paused. "... no."

"So what's the problem?" asked Dorian, raising his eyebrows. "Stop fussing."

"Stop _fussing_?" the elf said incredulously, crossing her arms. "This is serious! I screwed up, and I really like her, and I don't know what to-"

"Alright," Dorian interrupted her rambling again. He put the book he was reading back on the shelf, focusing solely on his friend. He knew how much Josephine meant to Shae, and how hard it was for the Inquisitor to open herself up to people. "Have you seen how she looks at you? How she blushes and laughs when you're around? I heard her humming the other day, after talking to you in the gardens. She likes you, my friend."

The point of Shae's ears turned pink at the new information, and she scooted down further into the chair. "You can't know that for sure," she mumbled.

"Yes I can. And I'm always right, as you are well aware already," Dorian said, never one to take things too seriously. Shae rolled her eyes, but a smile made her way onto her mouth. "I know it's scary, Shae, but you should give it a chance," he added, knowing his friend desperately needed to hear that.

Shae looked at him and suddenly felt very grateful for his friendship. She never would have thought that she would connect so deeply with someone outside of her clan, especially that someone being a shemlen. But she had; Dorian and her shared different cultures and races, and definitely had different opinions in some matters, but they still had an understanding of each other that not many people could grasp.

"Thanks, lethallin," said Shae, unusually using an elven term of endearment. She reserved those for people she truly cared about. Dorian grinned at her.

"Now shoo," said Dorian, signaling for her to stand up with his hands. "You're in my chair."

\---

Somehow, Varric had convinced Shae (again) to join him in the tavern. She was looking forward to it, though; she had just gotten back to Skyhold last night, after a long 3 weeks of being away. She had taken Dorian, Sera and Cassandra with her this time, so in truth she was excited to spend some time with the dwarf.

When she opened the door to the tavern, she didn't have to look hard for Varric. She spotted him at a table not far from the door; he was accompanied by Sera, Krem and the rest of the chargers, which wasn't unusual. However, Josephine was also there, and Shae hadn't expected that. She had come back late, so she hadn't had time to see her yet. She had been planning to pay her a visit after she was done with her friends.

Varric saw her at the door and waved for her to come over. Josephine noticed and looked up from the game of Wicked Grace they were playing. As soon as her eyes connected to Shae's green ones, a smile lit up her face. Almost subconsciously, Shae felt herself smile back.

"Scars! Just in time," said Varric. He gestured to the empty chair between him and Josephine. "Saved you a seat."

"Hey you," Sera greeted her. She wasn't playing the game, instead observing with a drink in hand. Krem and the chargers nodded at her, focused on their cards.

"Shae," said Josephine once the elf had sat down. "It's good to see you."

Shae could already feel the tiredness fading away, instead being replaced by a now familiar, warm sensation in the pit of her stomach. She was so content to just be next to Josephine.

"You too, Josie," Shae said, smiling warmly. Josephine's own smile turned bigger at the nickname.

"Alright Ruffles, let's finish this so I can finally beat you," said Varric.

Krem snorted into his drink. "You're gonna lose again. Why do you keep putting yourself through this?"

Varric glared at him but didn't answer. "After this round, you can join in, Scars," he told Shae.

Shae nodded with a lazy smile on her face. It was good to be back in Skyhold.

\---

After five rounds of Wicked Grace - Bull and Dorian having joined them right before the third one - Shae needed a break. It was nearing midnight, so the tavern was growing louder and louder, agents of the Inquisition filling it after a full day of hard work. She had said goodnight to everyone already; she was just going to take a stroll in the garden and then go to her quarters. She was surprised to hear footsteps behind her, though.

"Shae, wait!" 

She turned around to find Josephine walking up to her. She stopped, waiting for the woman to catch up to her.

"Mind if I join you?" asked the ambassador, somehow bashfully.

"Not at all," Shae responded immediately, delighted. 

They spent the short walk to the gardens in comfortable silence. They had grown even closer since Shae had helped Josephine with the House of Repose's contract; there had been more flirting, more subtle touches, but the Inquisitor still hadn't gathered enough courage to tell Josephine her true feelings. She wanted to do it soon, but there was still that nagging voice at the back of her head telling her that the ambassador wouldn't want her back.

"You seem to spend quite a lot of time here," said Josephine, once they had entered the gardens. 

"Oh yes," said Shae, without stopping her walk. She knew exactly where she was headed. Josephine followed her. "Have I not told you?" Shae questioned.

"I don't think so, no."

They came to a stop in front of two identical small trees. They seemed to have been planted not long ago. Shae crouched down in front of them, taking the watering can that was next to the trees. Josephine observed her curiously. She didn't know what was going on, but she felt like it meant something to Shae. When the elf was done showering the trees, she closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. 

"The Dalish plant trees when a loved one dies," explained Shae, standing up. "It's kind of like a grave, but not really. It's more than that for us; a way to remember them and honor them."

She began to walk to one of the benches, Josephine following her quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

"My parents died when I was younger," Shae continued, once they had sat down. "The trees are for them. I planted them when we first got to Skyhold. Taking care of my parents' trees was something I used to do back at the clan, and I felt empty not being able to do it in Haven."

Josephine had known Shae's parents were dead, but she hadn't known about the Dalish tradition or how and when Shae's parents had died. She took the elf's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I think that's a nice thing to do. Growing something to life to honor the dead. It's beautiful, poetic."

Shae squeezed Josephine's hand in return, and in a bold move, adjusted her own hand so she was holding Josephine's. They stayed like that, holding hands, revelling in the quiet of the gardens at that hour. Shae  _knew_ this was the time, she had to tell her now. She didn't know when she would get a moment like this with Josephine again. She took a deep breath, willing her heartbeat to calm down and her hand to stop sweating.

"Josephine," she started. The antivan woman looked at her. The smile hadn't left her face, and she looked so lovely with the soft light of the stars shining down on her. Shae felt like she couldn't breathe and she forgot what she was about to say. Josephine's face was so close now, if she leant forwards a few inches she could easily kiss her.

So she did. She kissed her, and she didn't know where the sudden courage had come from, but she wanted to kiss her, so she did. Josephine didn't react as surprised at all and she responded to the kiss almost immediately. In their haste to be closer, their hands had stopped being intertwined; instead, Shae's arms were around Josephine, while Josephine's hands tenderly held Shae's face. The kiss was short and sweet, but still better than what Shae could have ever dreamed of.

They pulled apart, their foreheads still touching. Shae opened her eyes, and let out a relieved laugh. "I can't believe I just did that," she said.

Josephine smiled at her. She was positively glowing. "Well, I'm glad you did."

"Yeah," Shae said, sighing contentedly. "Me too."

And she kissed her again, just because she could.

**Author's Note:**

> idk. i wanted to write my own take on how my inquisitor and josie started their relationship, and this happened.  
> also yes, shae plays the lute. idk how or when or why, but i thought it fit her character. i'll figure out the details later lmao  
> comments and feedback are encouraged :)  
> [come hang out with me on tumblr!](http://hawkebela.tumblr.com/).


End file.
